Windows Update - Designed for the retarded by the retarded

24 April, 2008 | Coding / Web Dev, Rants | By: Fuzzy Orange

So ever since installing my new webcam, my vista SP1 machine (installed from MSDN disc) has been blue screening 18 times a day with a “USB_BUGCODE_DRIVER” error - even after removing all webcam drivers etc.. etc..

So today I figured I’d reinstall vista with my original genuine ultimate x64 disc - then let windows update install SP1 for me

But no… apparently there are “No new important updates” for my computer

Now I know this is bullsh*t because my machine uses 1.2gb of ram just to run on base vista - and takes 20minutes to move/delete or copy any file even if its only 1kb in size. However with SP1 it uses half the ram and everything is really quite useable (I daren’t use the word good :))

So I check a few blog sites and find there is a list of hardware drivers not compatible with SP1 so it refuses to show. Wouldn’t it make more sense to show a message “There is a massively important full blown service pack you need - but theres a small chance your soundcard will implode if you install it - so be a good chap and update your drivers”

*sigh*

So I update my soundcard (Audigy 4) drivers so im no longer at risk - but no… Im still not allowed SP1

I’m now sat staring at a 750mb download for the network install version because Windows Update is the single most retarded piece of sh*t that microsoft ever released!

Comments

Comment from Rick Nunn
Time April 25, 2008 at 8:01 am

I have the same problem on OS X… wait no I don’t…

Comment from Fuzzy Orange
Time April 25, 2008 at 8:03 am

Well I laid in bed till nearly 2am listening to my ipod and watching it install (from the network install download)

Took bloody ages but its working fine

So whatever windows update detected that made it decide I shouldn’t have SP1, its a mystery to me, works absolutely spot on!

Comment from Jamie
Time May 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Why on earth are you using Vista? What kind of a n00b are you?

Comment from Fuzzy Orange
Time May 27, 2008 at 3:12 pm

Because I cant afford a mac :(

… and the ubuntu/linux support for iPhone/iPod is SHOCKING

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